I had all day. A whole day of being alone, and I didn’t write anything. I felt the burning in my chest that I’ve discovered means that I’m feeling inspired (not just excited), all day. No, it wasn’t all day, that’s dramatic, I just wanted to say all day again.

I went to an energy healer a few days ago in Athens. Most of the time I manage my energies on my own, but every once in a while I just feel like I need help. Who doesn’t like letting someone else do the work? Ok, me, usually and formerly. I can accept help now. In fact, I get very excited for it. It is fun to experience something new. I don’t seek it out or ask on typical days, I only look for it when the feeling rises that signals to me, “it’s time, just do it.”

Since I was small, I remember having random sensations in my body without obvious or visible cause. Sometimes it was a pain in my rib that would only last a few hours, sometimes it was twitching somewhere and most of the time it was a vague but local pressure inside of my body for a few seconds. They were obvious enough to notice, but not enough to seek out understanding of what they meant (how do you ask a typical person that when you’re 7)? I just assumed that all bodies did this. Cells moving around, blood flow, etc. They do, but not everyone perceives this and realizes that there is actually something important happening energetically.

Being an American, I arrived 10 minutes early to our appointment. She, being Greek, assumed that I would be 15 minutes late and also arrived 15-20 minutes late. It gave me time to go eat some spanakopita so I had no complaints. Our visit began with an exercise called…something about your true self…a true self meditation? It involved asking to connect with your true self and then focusing on the heart and waiting. For what? This day ended up being a reminder of how important it is to learn to be patient and wait for myself in all areas of life. I waited, and she facilitated. I felt the usual pressures and sensations in my body that I always feel when meditating (and standing around). She told me that they meant something. It took 32 years for me to get that information. The help was proving to be so valuable in this moment.

Of course they meant something, I knew that. In this scenario, it was my body clearing out things I didn’t need and repairing and realigning energies that needed it. How interesting. In this case, contacting my true self allowed my current self to start shedding things automatically to become more like my true self. I’ve been doing this actively for the past two years. This new method made sense. Anything is possible and I just hadn’t known of this avenue to reach the same goal. Was it easier?

I guess it is similar to when you spend time around a person of higher energy. Inevitably, your vibration will come up to try to meet the vibration of the higher being. So, my higher self doesn’t have any garbage, so I can let go of mine in her presence to be more coherent.

Today I found another possibility that I hadn’t considered before, in this context anyway: I asked what was happening when I felt sensations occurring. I got answers. Apparently my guilt is stored in my uterus. I have had other energy workers and health care workers ask me about this, but the manifestations of it are subtle so nothing concrete has been discovered. I’ve learned to like when the medical world doesn’t have answers for me. It just reaffirms the connection between energy, emotions and physical symptoms.

A lot of the fun of this world is in knowing that you only have to imagine that something is possible or an option and it can happen. I have a few friends who meet to play with energy and learn techniques and other information from each other. Last week we were playing with telekinesis and theorized that maybe if we sent more energy to our sacrum, it would help us somehow (I can’t remember). One of our members then tapped into everyone’s sacrum from a distance and sent energy there. We weren’t successful in that moment, but that didn’t matter. We discovered a new possibility and tested it right away. We got so much joy from it.

Doing all this work alone has a lot of value and is necessary most of the time; no one can fix anyone else. Lately though, I’ve gained some powerful and timely insight from friends that saved me days of self-directed research and potentially saved me from making some situations worse. I told a powerful friend of mine that I was feeling this lull and lessened confidence in my abilities lately. Days later, she told me that she had felt comforted by our discussion because she was experiencing the same thing and wasn’t sure what was happening. I didn’t expect my sharing to have this impact on her. I’ve had many parallel experiences with my friends. I’m seeing how important it is to have help and how valuable having a team is.

Actually, all of the input I’ve received over the past three days has been confirmation of the necessity for connection. Another friend told me today that when we speak consistently, she feels like she is in a flow and synchronicities etc are happening, but if we go for a period without contact, nothing happens and the feeling is gone (also if we are talking too intensely the same happens; balance is key). While I don’t experience it in exactly the same way, it is very similar for me. I felt warmth knowing that the universe has connected us in this way.

My friend who was visiting with me in Greece left yesterday. As we parted in the square, I felt the recently familiar feeling of a fear of being alone rise in my chest. It was amazing that it only lingered for a minute or so. I am thankful for this progress. It makes sense though, for as I reflect on the past few days, I can see how even if I wanted to be, I never really am alone.