I was afflicted by a pervasive human issue recently.

Tiredness.

A rarity for me, and in other ways, a chronic issue.

I’m not talking about physical tiredness. No matter how much sleep I’ve had or how much I’ve engaged with work or people, I always have a central spire of energy within me. It feels like enthusiasm sometimes, and others it feels like being actually ok.

I suppose it is my spirit, always alert and alive, while my body and mind can fade slightly at times. Yes, my body gets tired or my mind gets sleepy, but I don’t find it to be distracting or a qualifier for how I show up.

I know where this energy has come from. It’s always been there, because it has to be. Without it, I would be an inanimate flesh pile. It’s easy to cover over this energy by moving out of balance, however, and to succumb to the challenges of being in a human body.

Physical resources are limited; we have to eat, sleep, move etc. to maintain our bodies. But there are ways to expand these limiting features of our bodies, so that our spirit can carry us further, longer, without, etc.

Over the last few years I’ve worked hard on two things (well, more than two, but I’ll tell you about two): becoming present and finding consistent inner peace.

I needed to come back from being lost in the drama of humanness: my thoughts were a tornado and my emotions were like a dance partner spinning me just 6 times too many. Fear had caused that. Uncertainty had caused that. Discontent had caused that. I had caused that.

I forgot that I was responsible for how my life turned out and handed power over to external circumstances and people.

Thought and emotion are two high-cost human privileges. I spent my time fantasizing about the future or dreading it. My energy in thought form was in a time that wasn’t ‘now,’ where my body was. My emotions swung constantly: happy, sad, happy, sad, sad, sad, disappointed, frustrated, excited, disappointed. I was flushing energy down the toilet.

On top of that, I spent a lot of time partially outside of my body. Not being fully plugged-in took a toll on my physical body.

I was drowning in polarity and time.

I was just tired.

Dragging, even.

My work, time with friends, athletic endeavors all left me feeling tired. The problem was that I was so busy in the physical world, that I forgot about the spirit.

Finding inner peace and learning to be present in the moment (where my body and my spirit were) allowed me to reconnect my energy with my body.

I learned to ‘be ok no matter what’ meaning at peace no matter what. I stopped complaining. I trained myself to become comfortable sitting in discomfort, and by doing so neutralized the polarity I had been trapped in.

I caught myself every time I had a thought of the past or future and pulled myself back to the present. Little things: touching a flower, looking hard at the plants, asking myself out loud, “where are you right now?”

Eventually I found emotional neutrality.

Neutral felt amazing. I kept my energy. There rose a subtle energy inside me. I felt generally able to do anything, for as long as I wanted.

My physical endurance increased, my strength increased, my hearing and vision improved, my digestion and sleep improved, among many other things.

I could work as long as I wanted with people while my colleagues complained about being drained by the end of the day.

I just didn’t feel tired.

Being present doesn’t require energy. There is no output. You’re just there, taking it in, and allowing a natural interaction to occur.

Recently, I’ve been a little distracted: emotions are pouring in and I’ve allowed my mind to wander with them in moments.

I’ve been really excited to go on a trip with friends. It reminds me of being a kid and being unable to think about anything else besides Christmas. I found myself at the end of four days of this feeling…yes, tired. I had been mentally somewhere else.

Emotions don’t always mean you lose energy, they’re supposed to be there. The combination that drains energy is prolonged emotion plus mental absence. Getting sucked into what you feel and letting it become you…or overcome you.

Most humans aren’t present and swing with their emotions. They expect you to bond over the past, future, their feelings, complaining, etc. It’s possible to bond without those things. You don’t have to be tired like everyone else. It’s possible to do more and have more energy. It just takes a little presence.